Reason - Colored dreams/killers pt. 2

Mama I just killed a man, body is still tremblin' can you feel my hands?
Don't shed no tears mama
Look I said: Mama I just killed a man
Body is still tremblin' can you feel my hands?
Don't shed no tears mama

A man convicted in the shooting death of the Milwaukee teenager
Will be behind bars until he's at least eighty years old
Police said Mario Danielle Jackson shot into a crowd
During a fight and killed a fourteen year old, Our Jonah Kaplan reports from court

I guess I just gotta chill for twenty years
'Til the drugs say it's okay to come out
I need an escape and a way to run out
People say that they love you but you ain't breaking me out
I'll probably die up in this motherfucker, shit
I've accepted that and I am finding peace, uh
Long nights I've been trying to sleep
But I can't, so let me write you this apology
This for your girl, look I'm sorry mama
I put a bullet in 'em, I took your heart from you
I killed your man and now you're forced to be apart from him
You daughter walking who gon' catch her when she starts running?
I was only nineteen doing foolish things for colors
Your tears in the courtroom I can tell you loved him
I thought I was being gangster when I took his life
Now I can barely sleep through a night

I get it now fuck these colored dreams
I get it now fuck them colored dreams
Fuck these colored dreams
Fuck them colored dreams

I guess I just gotta chill for twenty years
Shit, might as well apology to the rest
And to my brother I claimed I love you more than the rest
If I really loved you how come I did guide you to your death
You was only twelve when I got locked up
Pops shook, no role models for the block looks like the only option
Should have made you put them Glocks down but instead I showed you how to get it popping
And you took to it, nah you was never shook to it
Even if trouble wasn't around you would look to it
Throwing upset, you let them know you wasn't no bitch 'til you run into multiple crips
You let them niggas know you'll be down for your niggas
Thinkin' in your head: Big bro' will be proud of a nigga
I hate to have to be the way for you to go
What's even worse I couldn't make it to your funeral
Fuck them colored dreams
Fuck these colored dreams
Fuck them colored dreams

Look mama I know I killed that man
Still remember trembling when you felt my hand
Don't shed no tears mama, uh
I know I won't be home for years mama
I know you feel like I failed you to all your peers mama
You been a blessing to me
I been a curse since birth to you
Made shit worse for you
They left me off the second I wouldn't even search for you, shit
It only make it harder
You care so much that you would kill for me
I get your letters and I wonder how you still love me
You say you pray every night and you still feel for me
Shit and if you could I know you probably would do this bid for me, shit
So what's it been the last time I speak to you
I wan't you to know I love you with everything in me
And since they ain't told me you share DNA with me
We polar opposites I know I failed you mama wish I could be your accomplishment
So as I stand on this chair writing this letter
Noose around my neck the only way I do better if I leave you now
'Cause you been beaten down from them other things
I ain't give you shit a mother brings, I get it now
Fuck these

Writers: Robert Gill

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