Zachary james - Dear mom

Work is on my mind but let me set all that aside
Been tryna tell myself that time is always on our side
Tryna rush my way from here to where I'm meant to be though
Feel like Meyers Leonard, been workin' on my free throws
Subtle metaphor for practice
Lately I've been on my grind
Some days I feel exhausted
But right now I'm feelin' fine
I should ask you what you feelin', tell me momma how are you?
Yes of course I read your text it just left me confused
I don't know if you're ok
Wish there was somethin' I could do
Seems the best thing I can offer is to share my point of view
Let's start with somethin' simple like my thoughts on how you raised me
I'm starin' at this photo from when I was just a baby
The one where we're both lookin' at the ocean, it's so crazy
I've never been more thankful than right now for what you gave me
You sacrificed a lot. I know most parents do
Can't believe Dad scraped up change just so he could shine his shoes
Dammit I'm so grateful
How'd I get here? I don't know
I guess you've always done your best to show me how to learn and grow
I feel like maybe I should say I'm sorry for my mistakes
I've said it a million times though, in my notes and to your face
There's so many faults I made that I now wish I could erase
And you know I know you know all this, I just had to explain

When times get tough, and life feels rough
Your love's enough, I'm lookin' up
You guided me, you held my hand
And I know why, I understand

Thinkin' back to what I wanted, got everything I asked
Nintendo, Sega Genesis, some new clothes and some cash
I guess it sounds reversed, cause I'm rappin' like we struggled
No circus act or magic tricks but you learned how to juggle
3 kids
Dad's late
Stuck workin' at the office
Cold calls and paperwork
Just focused on the profit
Where we movin' next mom
Boxes still unpacked
I guess that isn't relevant
Let's get back to the facts
It took me quite awhile to be the man I am today
And reason I gotta say that is you helped me pave the way
Sometimes I question God and sometimes my faith feels lost
And I wonder if you feel the same since all your hope was tossed
Wish I could do more to save you from your situation
But if I think about it too much it just gets me so frustrated
You're such a beautiful person
There's not many that you've hated
Always killin' em with kindness even when you're devastated
Some will see it differently, can't help but be so biased
As kids we grew up knowin' you would always stand beside us
You guide us and remind us
To focus on what drives us
And always give back everything the universe provides us
I hope that when you hear this there's a smile up on your face
I promise you these thoughts come from a very special place
Forgive me for the honesty you know I had to keep it real
I told my fans I'd only rap the truth of what I think and feel

When times get tough, and life feels rough
Your love's enough, I'm lookin' up
You guided me, you held my hand
And I know why, I understand

Dear mom, just thank you
For everything you did
You saved me from some dark times as a foolish grown up kid
I know it hurts to look and see just how some things panned out
But in my heart I know that the hurt is not what life's about
Believe it or not, I wrote this thinking only of the good
I'm tryna to give back what I can like I know a good son should
It'll never be enough, for me though, not for you
I owe you everything I have, from the ceiling to my shoes
To some that might sound corny, but you read between the lines
You know what I really mean is I'd trade everything that's mine
I hope you know I'm serious too, about all these lines that rhyme
You deserve a million songs, this won't be the last time

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